weathering the changes
As is frequent in this day and age, being in the midst of the corporate world, with its uncertainties and ups and downs, I found out I was without a job…again.
The previous time, I had several months of reflection but ultimately decided to get back into this line of work but only if for a great company. And it found me, thankfully. And it was great, but as the industries shift, especially during these economic times, so did this one.
Now as much as I enjoyed the day to day work and especially the friendships built, I find myself…again, in a state of “something”.
Although it would be easy to take the angry, resentful route, I chose not too. Only because, this was my doing, my wanting and yearning in some unconscious way. And the Universe does listen, all the time. As they say, “be careful for what you wish for, you just might get it”. So, in essence, they did me a favor. Nothing personal. And I am grateful for the opportunity it gave.
Admittedly, I had recently been feeling stuck in this city and aching to get out. Not that its a bad city, its just not “my” city.
Some say this place is “cold” but I also believe you perceive everything just the way you want to.
It is however true that it is a difficult city to “Live” in. No objections for those that love it, to each his own right? Not everything or everywhere is meant for everybody. Otherwise life would be boring and the planet lop-sided.
It is also, almost the 7 year itch as they say. Time to go, I feel. Oh but where???
This time however, I realize that I want to enjoy my environment and I feel I cannot really accomplish this here. Why waste it stuck in an office desk job that you sort of like, only to save money for the little time off you get, save your time of actually living for only during your vacation. Plus the living expenses are high so saving can be a hardship.
Don’t get me wrong, I like my line of work and I think I’m pretty good at it, actually a perfectionist about it and I am sure to find more work but…
All this to say that I am now faced with this new reality. I no longer want to settle and I neither want to see where the road leads me this time. I actually want to create the road ahead of me.
If that makes any sense.
I am an artist, a creative being, I need to be in that environment to stay sane. I only have this life as it is right now, and thankful, therefore and I no longer want to postpone enjoying it.
I spent last year mostly sick with several health issues and had to make it a priority.
I am grateful for the wonderful support I received from friends and family as well as all the amazing health care practioners who helped me through it.
I digress, back to the jobless writing. People will continue to support you and wish you only the best to come (and I must say, those positive energies directed at you at a time like this, absolutely makes a difference) but logistically, what we are mainly faced with is “how am I going to feed myself, keep the roof over my head”, …
It is still important and necessary to go through the emotional stages of being laid-off. I won’t go into it in depth as there is already plenty of that info online. After all, it is the product of our times and many many people face this challenge.
Now, if you continue to enjoy your line of work (day job) and the location you live in, its already a good start and you know where to go from here.
I on the other hand am questioning both. I am not fulfilling my creative aspirations and living in a location that I particularly like. So what next you ask?
Here are some thoughts (as of today, as they may change). Hopefully the Universe will continue to listen…
Here is a great quote I am going to live by:
“Envision yourself doing what you want first, then the means to achieving it will unfold and the resources will be made available to you.” Trust in that process.
In following Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way” I find myself re-awakening my dormant artist within that has been cooped up and neglected for too long.
Now this may sound sappy or daydreamy but I make no apologies for it. How else can you achieve the life you want by not first daydreaming then allowing it to happen?
I picture myself in a small town with all the resources available, riding my bicycle, with painting supplies in one basket and fresh fruits & veggies just picked up from the local farmers in the other basket.
Going for a picnic with my boyfriend and best friend. oh there is also love around!
Taking care of the land, doing some gardening, riding horses, painting beautiful sceneries that are before me, helping those around me, young and old, being in a close knit community, all warm friendly folks.
Perhaps part-timing in an Art shop or gift shop or B&B. Feeling grateful and content and Happy.
and the list goes on…
oh, and, the means to achieving this will come as well as the dinero!
that is it for now, hopefully this journaling will help. this is much like the “Artist’s Way morning pages” edited version.
In closing, here are some related quotes:
” Freedom means you are unobstructed in living your life as you choose. Anything less is a form of slavery. -Wayne Dyer”
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. -Nelson Mandela”
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. -Denis Waitley”
a friend just sent me this quote as well
“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France”