Short Story – The Journey Within

"The Journey Within"

Inspired and written on May 22, 1995, while living in Orlando, Florida

Introduction

I’ve always felt that I wasn’t inside my right body, my right mind. Like a caged bird who knows by nature that he can fly but yet limited by its surroundings, and unsure why he has wings.

There was something locked inside, deep within.

Something important and crucial that I was kept or hidden from.

Who am I? Who are we? Really…

Are we from what they say? What society wants you to believe, from all those history books, written to manipulate and control you?

My quest for the truth so then began…

 

The before...

It was a long journey to try and find someone that could help me make sense of my deep rooted feelings.

It was by a chance meeting of a hypnotherapist, who was not only open-minded but dealt with what we would call spiritual experiences, paranormal activities and past lives regressions.

I was curious so decided I had nothing to lose. So I went ahead and booked my first session.

I started my sessions talking about myself and all those hidden feelings I had inside. All my doubts and fears about who I am, where I am from, …You know, normal questions anybody asks themselves, right? or is it just me?

I felt like I could not label or categorize myself based on the labels already available in society. Something inside me did not want to be placed in an already chosen or predetermined box.

All these thoughts I had, how silly and crazy I felt for I could be put in a mental institution. So it was with reluctance that I shared my thoughts but my therapist was incredibly understanding.

Once I was able to trust her completely, when I would feel safe, I would finally be able to uncover the truth.

That’s when the real battle began…and I would never be the same again.

I went through the battles I had inside in this lifetime and was now starting the journey through the past.

There are so many memories to recall all, but these stuck to me;

I was once an eagle or a falcon, flying over the new continent, what we now call the Americas. I was the companion of a great First Nations warrior. I would warn them when the soldiers from Europe arrived so they could flee or prepare for battle. But then, there were too many. As many as the stars you see in the night sky. And I was gone.

This was the only experience I remember where I was an animal being.

A lot or most of my questions were answered in these sessions. I was happy and felt complete. I felt our connection to the world, the Earth. She was and is our Mother, our friend. Her spirit is in all living beings, from the trees, the mountains, the sea, the rocks, and all speak her language.

I thought I had finally re-discovered the truth of my connection to the Earth and that I could ultimately move on.

I went back to work, living a relatively normal life. People around me even noticed I was happier and more joyous.

Eventually, I grew tired again with a deep sense of still missing something. I felt pulled back into the past. Like I had only seen a glimpse of the real truth and needed to visit more past lives.

My journey within was beginning… again.

For the following sessions, I thought I had simply more lives that I needed to explore and remember. Was I ever wrong!

I found myself in a land, much like what we recognize today as Ancient Egypt. The Land, the temples, the sculptures of stone were alive, vibrant. Everything was like looking at a three-dimensional landscape, with 3D glasses (like 6D), everything was radiant, luminous, perfectly balanced, and in harmony with nature. There are really no words to describe the beauty I saw.

It was definitely not like how history is taught in schools.

I was Queen of Egypt, confidant, companion and loving wife of the Pharaoh. (This was before the Early Dynastic period and Old Kingdoms. So no record was kept that I could search for after my session)

Egypt was indeed the most beautiful, magical place then. Lush with plants and water. It had a mystical feeling about it. I found that I could speak with the plants, water and any elements. We were exchanging, communicating, unbeknownst to most others during that time.

The people of the Nile had this knowledge too, that has since been forgotten by time or discarded.

Even more greater than learning of this during my sessions, as the Queen, I knew things beyond what the people of the Nile knew that had to be kept hidden.

I knew something that I could not share to the world, so, as a Scribe and High Priestess, I hid the secret knowledges inside the temple walls, as well as within and beyond the hieroglyphs.

When the Pharaoh was killed, the whole empire was coming down with him. It was out of control, like a sudden virus that infiltrates. This was shifting the perfect balance that had long endured.

No longer my beloved Pharaoh by my side, I felt abandoned, but yet, I knew deep within that I really wasn’t alone.

I was puzzled by this experience but my therapist was happy of the progress we had made. I could now move on and see the world with new eyes on my past and should no longer feel this emptiness.

But even then, I still felt like something was pulling me back. I had to go see her again, the queen and her secrets, to relive life through her. And so I did.

 

The After...

There I was again, queen of Egypt, when the empire had fallen.

I felt like a lost child, the world spinning out of control, like a planet pulled out of its orbit.

All of a sudden, nothing-ness took over me, like falling in emptiness but not afraid. (the “me” on my therapist’s couch, embodying the queen).

 

My therapist said I started speaking gibberish. Then I spoke in a clear but very much unknown language. She could not recognize any dialect, ancient or new. It was as if some force had taken over and was speaking through the queen through me.

I could see the stars and planets in space, like I was floating inside a cloud, moving with the wind.

Nothing like I have seen before in the known universe or milky way. It was as if I was pulled in a different dimension. Shapes and sounds were so foreign yet strangely familiar. Senses beyond the ones we know of here on Earth.

Finally, the story came pouring through…

“Our people had to flee our world, for great darkness and destruction was taking place.

We travelled for a long time for a place where we could live and be at peace.

Then we found this enchanting world known as Earth.

We always stayed a great distance away from new planets and its inhabitants, observing how the Earth was moving and evolving, careful not to disturb its evolution.

We saw great creatures, what humans call dinosaurs. Then, the Earth entered darkness. We thought we would have to move on again and continue our search for a new home.

But, a magical thing happened. Earth was being reborn. Preparing herself to breed and welcome new lifeforms.

Earth transformed right before us. More and more beauty could be seen. It was enchanting. She was a refuge for all beings. Birds, animals, trees, all living beings emerged from within her core. Oceans of water formed. We could communicate from afar with all these beings and enjoyed discovering each other and sharing.

Then we observed the first humans born from this earth. We continued to observe its inhabitants at a distance. We realized that we could easily adapt and live with them. We could learn and teach about each other.

We did not want to intrude into other being’s evolution, so we continued to stay at a distance but we also would be able to take their physical appearances if needed.

Some of our people were still unsure of this as we had seen conflict between their mind, body and soul.

Eventually, we decided it was time to separate from our collective group. Some of us would go and live amongst the humans on Earth, some would stay behind watching over us, and still others would continue to search for other worlds.

As much beautiful and loving humans were, as much evil and destructive they could be.

They would not understand who we are. So in order for us to survive amongst humans, we would have to hide our true identity.

For those of us who stayed behind on earth, we became leaders to promote peace and happiness. We helped build civilizations.

We still had powers unknown to men and it was hard for some of us to disregard our very nature, a vital part of who we were.

As it happened, we began to be seen as Gods and rulers, against our will, but we also felt it not harmful at the time.

We learned that humans needed structure and order in which to live by, as they did not share or were in tune with their collective consciousness. We accepted the responsibility the goddess earth had entrusted in us to be guardians of all of her children, including humans.

We taught humans that their land was a magical place and that she contained great power and that we should live according to her laws, in honor and respect.

We became known as living Gods and Pharaohs, which is what and how we lived on our own world. We introduced new materials and techniques to build temples from our home world.

We are evolved powerful beings at peace and lived comfortably despite our hiding our true identities. We could not foresee the long-term effects we would have on the future of these people.

We were blinded by the envy, fear, hatred that men would carry someday. This constant duality inside them between good and fear.

One important factor we could not see. Humans were given a powerful tool, the mind, yet unable to use it to its full potential, we recognized. We did not know what their human mind and ego was eventually capable of, and so for some time, its use was very limited. We understood why Earth had only allowed an awaken portions of their mind, until the day they would be beyond duality and reach their next level of being, or evolution.

Humans were not ready at all, when we came to join them. They would eventually be filled with hatred and destruction.

Too late we realized they would not understand and accept who we truly are. We could no longer live peacefully side by side. We arrived on earth too early in their phase of existence.

We had adapted ourselves amongst humans successfully up to that point but men started to envy and doubt the powers of the Pharaohs. Thinking that we wanted to use our power to invade and control the earth and its people. It became an Us versus Them.

Some of the humans started investigating and started to know too much of our origin and capabilities. Discovering what we had thought was kept in total secrecy.

The humans launched a massive revolt against all living Gods and Pharaohs and the Empire started to crumble. They even started to fight amongst themselves as anger filled them and clouded their judgment.

The Goddess Earth Mother was angered at her children’s behavior.

We could no longer flee as we had before since our world was lost. We had to stay and try to fix our mistake. Being with the humans for so long, we had also lost a little knowledge of who we are. We had searched for so long for a place to live peacefully. We had to stay, but at what cost?

We had to stop these wars. We had the power to do so in an instant, but it would only add more fear and hatred in humans. We also feared for our total extinction.

We concluded that our only hope of survival was to become fully human. Not only in form but completely. This time we would have to develop a human mind and detach from our collective consciousness. We would have to live as humans, be born, grow old, die, and be reborn again, with no memory of our origins or previous existences.

Some of us did not want to go through this transformation for the suffering it would cause us to separate.

Some of us decided to go and search for those who had stayed at a distance observing earth’s evolution and those who had left in search of other worlds. Hoping to find them so that they could come back for us.

Those of us determined to stay, for earth had welcomed us, would go through the transformation.

 

Slowly, humans began to forget the events and live on their own. Some of our culture remained but mostly people did not record or pass on this story.

It would shatter the perfectly organized society they had created for themselves. It was a shameful past they wished not revisit. Their egos had grown so much. We did not want to harm them either so we silently agreed.

We would try hard not to forget who we are and where we came from.

But as we had transformed fully into humans, we also got caught up inside the web. Some of us have completely forgotten who we once were.

 

Our friends are still up there. I know. Watching over us.

I know they are trying to reach us, for we predict more and more destruction if humans do not awaken from their created illusions and stop fighting.

It has been so long that our friends too have a difficult time trying to find us or recognize us. 

Our friends will contact humans once in a while, hoping that it would be one of us. So that we could remember and be who we were again.

We fear the governments of earth, with their new toys for technology. Soon they will know too much. We are afraid they will know too much before they are ready.

We hide, yet still try to find each other so that maybe one day we could be One again, where we could journey back into this world and into other worlds where we not fear being our true nature and no longer need to hide our truth, our identity.

The End.

Thank you kindly for reading and hope you enjoyed this story.

Note from author:

I, in all honesty, do not recall writing this story. I believe I was in a creative zone or a meditative state or trance. I am unable to say for certain.

You may believe what you will, be it a vivid imagination I have been told I possess, but I do find some truths in there about our misaligned body, mind, spirit and about our struggles with duality.

I have only recently returned or remembered my spiritual path, and decided this story had to be shared. At that time, in 1995, when I wrote this, I didn’t feel safe sharing.

On another note,

Ever since I was young, or a time I can’t remember, I have always felt a strong connection and pull towards Ancient Egypt. Like it was my home. The temples, pyramids, Isis calls to me.

I hope to one day, meet the right group of like-minded people and go on a journey to Egypt to visit the sacred sites.

I continue to be inspired in some of my artwork, not only by Mother Earth and Egypt, but also by my Celtic and Indigenous ancestors, so stay tuned for more art.